Reads and rereads does she
Mapping indifference and coldness
Love him like a favourite song?
She read too much in between the lines
She never failed her love
She just failed herself
Given up, beaten down, lost
She was but melancholy
She could never weigh-
the odds against hope
She hoped for the hopeless
And loved like the loveless
She sent him away in a memory
She caressed another like a fool
A ship-wreck, lacking self-respect
She couldn't define herself otherwise
Had she not learnt yet?
Love cannot happen twice
She has to put up with it
Make peace with her reality-
He was another's now,
Shared affection, divided attention
But she could not stop thinking-
"And she will hold the one I did,
Find him holding her perfectly too.
And she will kiss the lips I did,
Search for what I've left undone behind.
And she will say the same name I did,
Tweaking pronunciations that make him chuckle.
And she will love the man I did,
Not knowing how hopelessly in love I am still."
She counts her maybes
And wishes against her guilt
She cries her heart out
And bleeds on a paper still
Why did the heart break?
Why the indifference?
Where has the love gone?
Had it ever existed?
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