As life runs in circles of aspirations and disappointments, I stand still comprehending the chaos. Not all new places seem welcoming now, and I breathe in all the familiarity I find around me so that I don't forget how you feel like. I look silently across the buzzing room to see people hug and find solace and I stand there knotted emotionally. I haven't looked more messed up, more lost. I thought we were over, done, gone. I thought I left you behind like I left home behind. I thought you came with home. I thought you and I were a fleeting emotion and yet you suffocate me through distance and nothing in the world can make me feel okay right now. I want to hold you and bury myself in your chest and cry. Weep so much that I run out of tears for the rest of my existence. I want to tell you that I hate you for never being there, for feeling for another girl, for giving me thoughts of her with you having all that I have. I want to hate you. Hate you. But yet, I fall right back to you.
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