Falling right back..

As life runs in circles of aspirations and disappointments, I stand still comprehending the chaos. Not all new places seem welcoming now, and I breathe in all the familiarity I find around me so that I don't forget how you feel like. I look silently across the buzzing room to see people hug and find solace and I stand there knotted emotionally. I haven't looked more messed up, more lost. I thought we were over, done, gone. I thought I left you behind like I left home behind. I thought you came with home. I thought you and I were a fleeting emotion and yet you suffocate me through distance and nothing in the world can make me feel okay right now. I want to hold you and bury myself in your chest and cry. Weep so much that I run out of tears for the rest of my existence. I want to tell you that I hate you for never being there, for feeling for another girl, for giving me thoughts of her with you having all that I have. I want to hate you. Hate you. But yet, I fall right back to you.

Bounce off Silences

Trapped,locked out of heaven-
Green,blue,red,happy heaven and its faults
Its faults, miseries and undying will
Faith torn apart,life kicked out of me
Or so I thought

Silence dropped in through a leaking roof-

A roof called love-a layer now with too many holes

A roof called responses-silence was the loudest

A roof called family-or should I just say fake promises

A roof called secrets-of lies,darkness and sorrow, death?

Happiness is but a choice-

A choice of an ending or a new beginning

A choice of a relapse or a step forward

A choice of a memory-stark,bloodred

Or a broken,shattered past

So seal the roof-and grow wings to fly away

I was made to run,to float like a bubble-

A bubble of momentary zest,permanent happiness

To swim across my deepest fear

To glide above my darkest secret

Neither am I a cold-hearted lost voice

Nor your lust,passion,desire or a missing piece

I am not a silence,but a noise

A roar-the voice that won't shut down

A storm that won't settle

And for what it's worth-

I live to soar high,to go places

I don't belong to the cracked shed

Anymore