I wonder why the steel railing is so hot, when the whether is pleasant
I look at an old lady coughing out bitterness as she is pulled down the slope in a wheelchair. Her wrinkled skin, the lost rosiness of her cheeks called for love, just a little love.
Standing still, giving her space, staring blankly ahead I reassure myself that I had to go ahead
The tired sloppy security guard checked my father as I walked inside hesitantly
Everything suddenly lost colour, all I could see was white with specks of random colours indicating life to my blurred eyes
Hastily I turn either side to observe an old woman shrinking and cradling herself in her own arms.. Her loved ones seem too busy settling bills and checks, ignoring her child-like need.
A young boy whose burning red eyes express his need for the plastic wrapped 2 centimetre tablets..
Breaking from this image and the insane spinning of my head, I hear my father call out my name
I run after him, thinking this will help me escape the pain, the vibes of craving needs which I can never fulfill.
Walking up the stairs, I see guards, patients, relatives, doctors, nurses, maids run past me.. Everyone seemed to be in a hurry while my life was freezing, coming to a halt, a pause where expressions are but blank and white. Just one colour. The colour of sorrow,pain,loneliness,need. White, just white. The funny thing about white is it is every other colour, but yet lifeless. I love white,but now I didn't. It connoted too much to handle.
As I walked down the empty hallway into a room, my grandfather lay there, grinning at my presence. My grandmother growing smaller providing space,but lifeless. Tired she was,of all the people. Of the single colour, I assumed. But suddenly, cheer spread in the room, as we sat down to talk. Happiness had seeped through the heavy cement walls,somehow. The place I grew to hate,became a home,because my family was here. Happiness had found its way back to me. It is like a weird relationship I have with Her,Happiness. She is looming around me in disguised forms, but I recognise her,always.
I bid my goodbyes,and take the lift this time. I don't look around, I just look ahead. I only saw the railing. The steel railing, and everything fell into place. The steel railing was hot, not because of the sorrow, not because of the danger, but because of the warmth. The warmth of humanity holding on to it. Because in hospitals,no matter how sad a place it is,love grows in leaps and bounds,and happiness will always find her way.
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