Happiness in Disguise

Cold fingers of mine brush against the warm steel railing
I wonder why the steel railing is so hot, when the whether is pleasant
I look at an old lady coughing out bitterness as she is pulled down the slope in a wheelchair. Her wrinkled skin, the lost rosiness of her cheeks called for love, just a little love.
Standing still, giving her space, staring blankly ahead I reassure myself that I had to go ahead
The tired sloppy security guard checked my father as I walked inside hesitantly
Everything suddenly lost colour, all I could see was white with specks of random colours indicating life to my blurred eyes
Hastily I turn either side to observe an old woman shrinking and cradling herself in her own arms.. Her loved ones seem too busy settling bills and checks, ignoring her child-like need.
A young boy whose burning red eyes express his need for the plastic wrapped 2 centimetre tablets..
Breaking from this image and the insane spinning of my head, I hear my father call out my name
I run after him, thinking this will help me escape the pain, the vibes of craving needs which I can never fulfill.
Walking up the stairs, I see guards, patients, relatives, doctors, nurses, maids run past me.. Everyone seemed to be in a hurry while my life was freezing, coming to a halt, a pause where expressions are but blank and white. Just one colour. The colour of sorrow,pain,loneliness,need. White, just white. The funny thing about white is it is every other colour, but yet lifeless. I love white,but now I didn't. It connoted too much to handle.
As I walked down the empty hallway into a room, my grandfather lay there, grinning at my presence. My grandmother growing smaller providing space,but lifeless. Tired she was,of all the people. Of the single colour, I assumed. But suddenly, cheer spread in the room, as we sat down to talk. Happiness had seeped through the heavy cement walls,somehow. The place I grew to hate,became a home,because my family was here. Happiness had found its way back to me. It is like a weird relationship I have with Her,Happiness. She is looming around me in disguised forms, but I recognise her,always.
I bid my goodbyes,and take the lift this time. I don't look around, I just look ahead. I only saw the railing. The steel railing, and everything fell into place. The steel railing was hot, not because of the sorrow, not because of the danger, but because of the warmth. The warmth of humanity holding on to it. Because in hospitals,no matter how sad a place it is,love grows in leaps and bounds,and happiness will always find her way.

Cottoned Wounds

Fascinating I find these, large cottoned wounds
Because behind each there is an untold story
After that, there is a scar left behind for life
A scar which reveals the hidden anecdote...

You :)

The guy I know today, met me two years ago as complete stranger. Nothing more than a senior he was. Annoying and lameeee, like I felt everyone else was, in that school. But when we actually got to know each other, differences were realised and it all merged into the same bittersweet love-hate for the school. He belonged to the school for all his life, and I hated the school and everything about it, right from the beginning. But what makes you love, more than people? No, I did not love him. I started to love the people around me, the school still remained pathetic and silly. Things eventually grew better. We used to have talks late into the night and believe that secrets between us were like pearls hidden in oysters. He told me a heartbreaking story, but he never seemed hurt. Hardly angry, silly, passionate, math geek, friend, brother, caring, loving.. He had everything in him. And one fine day, he left. He left everything behind. He walked out of school, happy and satisfied. He lost love, but that never made him cry, he cherished moments of joy with her and moved on. Moved on to being one of the most perfect people I know. Today he is going, away from this country, away from me, away from us.. But he shall always remain, in my heart. Because he made me smile a many times, he made me feel loved, many time, he liked me with no reason at all, and hated no one. To you dearest friend, I must say, you are an inspiration. Where ever you go, and whatever you do in life, keep inspiring people. Keep loving! Keep smiling! :) Happy LIFE!

The lesson she learnt

Laughter of the Gothic wannabes

Wearing smiles of fake trust

And bearing words of no interest

Catch the attention of drunk lil' brats

Who are dressed in tuxedos for the party night

Lightening the mood with tequila shots

These teenagers walk into the crowd

Recognized by those who lost themselves

And appreciated for the shoes they didn't wear

Surrounded by these phony teens

One of them just took it in

Sick of parties with all pretense

Makes her way out to the streetlight, hence

Sitting on the footpath, dressed like a slut

She curses and cries and kicks her shoes off

Flashbacks of when she enjoyed this stuff

Hit her then with hot black tears

Spoiling her made up, painted face

Drops of innocence rolled down her cheek

The shadow of hers was crumpled in pain

And her eyes red, as she looked down the lane

Never did she want this to happen

Never did she want to be so artificial!

But alas! It had happened

And it happened so quick

That escaping it, was impossible

All she did then, was cry like a child

And all her hope and cheer she saw

Thrust into a garbage can...

Unquenched

There's always been a feeling,
Of suffocation and pain,
Of the never ending story,
Of the restless heartbreak..

I stand by the door, waiting,
For him to come, and bow,
To serenade and love,
And ride away into the unknown..

But cloaked in red, he never comes,
The tragedy of distance, never known,
"The gap!" I scream, but unheard,
My life is taking a new turn!

A part of me is lost, I know not where,
In depth of valleys, please search,
Beyond the green plains, just watch,
You might find it there, untouched.

I feel the emptiness, O Lord!
Endow me with the strength,
For the pain I need to bear,
For the love which is unfair,
Faith is dying, in me now,
I need an angel, need a crown..

Somethings don't change, I believe,
The Love I have, will never,
For him, I bear in my heart,
"Forever, it is.", I hear myself,
"Forever, it is.", I repeat,
Look up into the sky, and speak,
"Wherever you are", I say,
"I am here, still waiting for you."

I still stand, but now by the window,
I don't wait, but look out and see
Those others standing, and wanting,
"Fools!", I call them, and turn,
I look into the mirror, and know,
The tears of theirs, are real,
The pain I felt, still lies,
Buried deep, it is though,
I understand their life..

A life of desire,
A life of love,
A life of denial,
And a life..
Of a thirst unquenched..